My Final Week
Field placement at St. Paul's Senior Services ended on a favorite note. My last ministry was Memory Care "Church". I've mentioned this service before, but I'd like to emphasize it again.
Picture this: a roomful of people seated in a large circle. Sound familiar? Of course. It could be any room, any group, any where. But this circle of people is only here, at the Villa, first floor. This circle includes individuals navigating their lives with particular challenges. Their minds challenge them, especially their memories. They mostly still hear and answer and talk as most all of us do. But spend some time with them and you begin to understand why they are in memory care. The challenges they face require care. People to care for them, calm them in distress, and learn to "read" their minds when their minds are confused. I know this is an over simplification, but I want you to see this picture as I've come to see it. These are people, valuable people, people with meaningful histories, people whose lives are not yet completed suggesting they still have importance in and to this world. They have something to give (a beautiful smile), something to say (thank you for coming!), something to do (share their jackets or song books), and lots to teach us about compassion, patience, and Jesus' commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves.
Yesterday, at "church" the folks were gathered in a different place from where we've met in the past. The Villa is undergoing a big redecorating project that has periodically disrupted schedules and locations. I heard that last week was particularly challenging as the noise from workers intruded into "church" causing anxiety and other distress. When Fr. Jason and I arrived the group was also a bit larger than usual--nice. But our books were missing. He and a staff person left to retrieve them from the room formerly used. As they discovered the books had been moved and as they searched for them, I found myself alone with the group. (Note, other caretakers were nearby, just not in the "church" area.) I began to see signs of anxiety. Two ladies were disagreeing about something. Not good. So, I did what any good chaplain would do, I think. I suggested we sing while we waited for our books. I began with a surefire winner, Amazing Grace. We finished all I could recall of it and they still weren't back so I moved on to Jesus Loves Me, also a song in the missing books. Fortunately, they arrived before the end of the first verse. Yay! Everyone was happy to get their books although some had to share. Fr. Jason promised to print up more books very soon. "Church" was happy--lots of smiles, singing along, attentive listening. All's well that ended well.
Earlier this week I returned to PACE Nemeth in El Cajon. First I visited three folks in their residence. Three unique visits with three individuals experiencing three different levels of challenge. Later, Chaplain Louise got several laughs at my descriptions of our conversations. Real life can be very funny even when it is seriously incapacitated. One lady especially enjoyed my reading psalms to her. All of them enjoy the attention of having a visitor. Some of the folks at these facilities actually have no one outside who visits them, ever. As I was saying my last goodbyes to the staff, they commented on that saying they wished for more volunteers to visit, especially those bringing spiritual care. I pass this on to you, dear reader. If you are so inclined...visit the nearest care home to see how you can help.
This field placement has been a source of much learning and stretching of my abilities. This week I also visited a man who told me about starting to smoke at age 6--6! He is 92, he thinks. We had a delightful conversation. At another visit, I just missed the death of a beloved mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. The room was full of her loved ones who had witnessed her final breath. They prepared to wash her body as the hospice nurse completed her notes. We had Eucharist in the Villa chapel again, gratefully, though the redecoration is incomplete. New chairs are coming! And, maybe, new carpet? Such details of my time at St. Paul's mark the moments of my growing awareness. Details make up our lives, color our lives, and pattern our lives in ways that complement the emotions we experience along with them. Our lives are made up of the work we do, the travels in-between, the time spent in conversations of all kinds, the ordinary time at home with family, as well as the orders of our service, our worship, and our ministry.
The end of this experience is more than just checking a box. It is full of gratitude for Fr. Jason who shared so much with me, trusted me, and encouraged me. This road's end marks a new beginning for me. I will take with me to all that is next the memory of the people and the groups and the spaces of St. Paul's Senior Services.
Praise, Peace, Gratitude, and Blessing--Amen.
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